Sheer sharing

Have you ever watched the video , ALEPH by Jaqueline Ribés Silva , one of the finalists in Paulo Coelho’s music contest ? . Those are very rare occasions in our lives when we forget our surroundings under the spell of such a mesmerizing music and spectacular show . It was a pleasant surprise and a strange coincidence to see in the video my favourite Sun Bird (Soochimukhi ) fluttering its wings and drinking the nectar of a red flower. After viewing it ,one viewer wrote “God is awesome, He gave us a spirit that matches with nature, and this video connect usall”

In this world of ours, who can keep such experiences as his or her own? In every website we visit , we are prompted to share and share everything with his fellow human beings around the globe . If you don’t share, you feel suffocated as if you are in a solitary confinement. No more secrets to be kept and even highly confidential matters affecting national security of States come to public domain these days. In the celebrated Malayalam movie " Rasathanthram ( Chemistry) by Sathyan Anthikkad , the funny scene, in which Manikandam Aashari ( Innocent) struggles to conceal the secret that Kanmani ( Meera Jasmine) is in fact  a boy not a girl as she appears to be, always arouses laughter and amusement in viewers' minds.

Man is thus slowly slipping away from the "frog in the well " mentality and learning to open his mental pane to let fresh air in. His vistas are expanding to embrace the world. He is no longer alone, he has friends from every nook and corner of the world to share both his joys and grievances. When something pleasant happens to him , they congratulate him and when unfortunate events befalls him, they console and comfort him.

How I can ensure that what I share is not disinteresting to the one I share my experiences with ? When I suppose that what I like may be interesting to others as well and start sharing it , it may be described as a mild form of bigotry because I refuse to recognize different perspectives and divergent views and arbitrarily demand that my likings should be palatable to others as well .It occurred to me that I should share this experience with my children but felt that I should exercise caution and take the generation gap that separates me from my children into consideration. Though I firmly believe that my children love me from the heart of their hearts there is a limit beyond which such bonds of love can not pass . Is it that that my tastes and inclinations end where their preferences and appetites begin? Sometimes there may be conflict of inerests. I have to leave them alone to enjoy their life as they deem and should learn to refrain from imposing my will on them or meddling with their personal affairs . That is what I am now trying to do though I cannot imagine how far I will succeed in my attempt.

By the father

Pursuit of Happiness

Most of you, I am sure , are familiar with this title of the famous Hollywood movie, one among my favourite movies of all time and a wonderful film of the Hollywood legend, Will Smith who portrays a simple man’s life .

As the earth keeps going and time slips away before you are aware of it, at some point in life , everyone evaluates his or her life. What have I done? Was it a complete waste..? I have never had complete happiness in my life... there is a hollow feeling in me... and that's something that bothers me a lot.. I have money, a roof over my head and kith and kin who love me dearly ... yes I do have everything but there is something .... something that I miss... yet I cant find it anywhere. According to others, this person may have a successful career and good living, but he says “I am very unhappy and I don’t know why”.

Some of the people , I have met in my life, said at some point in their life they evaluate what they have done. Some of us may have everything, still we feel like there was nothing. Our ancestors, I guess, had never had such problems ….they were happy with the little hut and content with what ever they had to satiate their hunger. And that's it! That was their life . But to our dismay our modern world is very competitive since we want everything and all the things we could ever dream of... if the neighbour has the latest plasma TV we also want it... may be two, one for living room and the other for bedroom.

The other day one of our family friend was discussing their new house to be built in Kerala back home with me... He describes the beauty and tranquillity one experiences when one simply wakes up in the morning and view the city in front of him or her from the 20th floor. It brings immense happiness when you just sit and watch the city waking up in front of you... as the time goes the streets get busier and when the night falls the streets become emptier... Its beautiful to wake up to see this... it makes the day feel good for the rest of the day and the effect that it brings to you is marvellous. He wants to bring this similar effect to the new home . They are building a riverside home... though one home is in city and the other in village, the effect is similar... waking up to see the beautiful river in front you, the calmness of silent waters and the lush green plants and trees around it. If you imagine this on a rainy day you will also dream of a riverside home. And to me, it is one of my favourite things that I do... watching the street below you and sipping my morning tea. My magical moments. Though you may not know what the empty streets are telling you , it still drives you to go there the next day too.

No wonder people now a days want courtyards and water pools in their home. They want to bring this little piece of nature within the building and feel nature all around. Courtyards and water pools have positive effects on our mood and emotions. Even for the flooring they do nowadays, people demand something natural- natural stones that bring coolness to the feet... people are going back once again to nature... as they realize that technology and gadgets are not everything in life.

Now a days every one don’t get an apartment in the 20th floor or a riverside home. Well, there are some other options as well . Simply going to a lakeside in the evening or just sitting on the grass and smelling the freshness it has, is awesome. In another movie I watched , I find this businessman with tight schedules who has fame and money, but at the end of the day he goes to the park , walks on the grass and feels the nature beneath him. But people, unfortunately , find it hard to spend time on things like this. Busy schedules... want all the things to work out well, nothing should go wrong and everything must be perfect! Yes, that's exactly is what everybody want today. But it doesn’t happen like that on earth.

People these days spend a lot of money on spa treatments and yoga. Its the first class spa in town, you should go there, they tell me. Thank you so much for the kind advice, I would say to them... but I would rather spend my time alone in a corner of the park and find my happiness... that gives me double effect because, 1. Unlike the spa I need not spend a penny 2. I get the exactly same effect on going to the spa except that no one massages me.

If at all God grants me a chance to choose which time I must be born, I would be really confused. I don’t want to lose the modern world with new technology and advanced lifestyle and the readymade ‘happy life’... but I also don’t want to miss the small community living where there is love, trust and happiness everywhere. but thank God , He saved me because He never asked me such a question.

This is one of my favourite quotes from the movie:

"Hey dad, you wanna hear something funny? There was a man who was drowning, and a boat came, and the man on the boat said "Do you need help?" and the man said "God will save me". Then another boat came and he tried to help him, but he said "God will save me", then he drowned and went to Heaven. Then the man told God, "God, why didn't you save me?" and God said "I sent you two boats, you dummy!"

Happiness is all about finding what you have and being content with what you have. Don't get fooled by the tempting ads and attractive goodies that say “ add life to life” or ädd colour to your life or add whatever to whatever... all they want is money from you and not your happiness. If you want happiness it is within you. If you are able to enjoy a glass of water that is happiness. If you see an innocent little child smiling there is happiness all around .Go and spend some time qualitatively... some fishing or walking in the woods or seashore. And of course everything depends on how you view your life...is it an half empty glass or half filled glass? It is in your choice to decide.

I recently read a book which says one finds happiness within oneself , in the inner self and hence people needs to be in solitude to find this missing ‘element’ .They have to discover it within themselves. Happiness don’t need any money at all... as they say, money cant buy everything. And there is a little

joke that follows this message : make sure you have earned enough before you say this. Because this is the twenty first century , different time , different people different story. So good luck in finding your “happiness”.

 

By the niece

My Uninvited Guests ...

A cacophonous cry woke me up from my protracted  Sunday somnolence.  8  A.M was an unpardonable time for us residents to stay awake on weekends. Enraged by the interruptionm of  slumber and the possibility of waking up my 8 months old kid, I went out to our balcony to look for  the  uninvited guests. A parrot was relentlessly crying in spite of my shooing. My wife, who also woke up hearing the nature's alarm, said that it was the time when she used to feed the birds in normal days. The bird was protesting against withholding its breakfast. I told her to feed it before it awakes  our sleeping beauty. While my wife was feeding the birds with some left over bread crumps and rice, for the first time in 8 months, I stayed in the apartment watching   the community living  in our backyard. Parrots, pigeons, myna, kites and squirrels were just some of the members of the beautiful ecosystem. Close observation made me realize that they had several  similarities to the human social behavior.

The parrots were the perfectionists. These early risers were punctual and time bound like those wealthy students who are brought up in boarding schools. Their colorful shiny feathers reminded me the neat and ironed uniforms. These students would grow up to beccome well mannered gentlemen  and able citizens always striving  for improvement  and to  lead a perfect life. They are, however,  untouched by the  hardships of human life and try to stay away from the suffering mob. The parrots had a time of its own and usually came in pairs. They eat very gracefully enjoying their meals to the last grain.  Fully immersed in eating,they sometimes even forget their surroundings fully . They keep their feathers clean and never drench in the rain. Their beauty must have given them a racial superiority over the pigeons. They sometimes fight with the pigeons but easily retreat as they may be considering it worthless to altercate with those of inferior fellow beings..

Pigeons  on the other hand can be compared to the politicians. They have no time sense and can appear anywhere at any time. They suddenly perch when the other birds are feeding and start to quarrels with them and even among themselves.  As they are not compartively  attractive, it is quite understandable why they get into trouble with the rest of the pack. They always eat in haste, as if it was a competition but always keep their eyes open to the surroundings and any slightest movement of sound would startle them.  Probably  their inferiority complex has made them paranoid. It may be due to the  humiliation of being less  attractive that  they   follow a ‘trust no one ‘policy.

The mynas are the underdogs. They only eat on the left over of grains from the floor which have fallen down while the parrots and pigeons were fighting. They usually come in the evening and never appear when other birds are around. They never make noise when there is no food and are always content with what they get. They would never hesitate to take bath openly in the water kept to quench their thirst. May be they are too innocent to become conscious of their social inhibitions.

The squirrels never eat from where the birds are feeding. It is when we started keeping food in another location that the squirrel started appearing. These impulsive creatures are like those workaholics who are always busy in their cell phones. These fur balls are always in motion and like to run away with the food in their mouth.

Even though these observations have no scientific basis and are only a  part and producet  of my extended imagination, it is nice to know that humans are not the only species with rivalry and competition.  These tiny creatures at least made me think of something other than my family and work. By this time the pigeons have already arrived causing another commotion and the parrots were flying away scolding  the pigeons. This awoke  my baby and with a splendid smile she brought me back to the reality.

By the eldest son

Straight from my heart

Blossoms from the sky

Breaking bread

Breezy evening

Festive mood,keeping everyone busy

 Run  and catch the falling stars

Lighting the sky

Miles and miles to go before I sleep............

When pride prevails

By the niece

"Hot" news from Doha



It is summer time in Doha . Just imagine what summer means in Gulf countries .While writing this the temperature is 46 degree Celsius.. Life goes on as usual and flows like a stream, trees and plants dance in the wind, birds sing, building workers carry on their work , newspaper boy sells newspapers and magazines riding bicycles , employees attend their offices, students sleep to their belly full since schools are closed , customers wait in queues in supermarkets to pay their bills, so on and so forth.

Meropiade



Those who can afford to spend a lot of money have gone abroad to spend their vacations in countries enjoying a cool climate with sporadic downpour . Gulf Nationals love and long for rainy days while Europeans likee sunny days as it is cold and cloudy in their countries even in summer with frequent showers . If it is very cool even in summer in their countries what will be the situation there in winter , one may wonder. Once while traveling with my boss by car from Munich to Meersbug in Germany in winter , he showed me a frozen river. It was a splendid sight for us and a unique experience for me. When we got off the car I tried to touch and feel the large ice block called river . I felt like walking on it but knew that it was risky.


 

Orioliade

 

In Doha bunches of dates hanging in date palms are a regular sight these days .They are now yellow in colour and within a few days they will turn red , soft ,sponchy and ready to pluck for consumption. These bunches of dates arouse a feeling of abundance in the minds of the onlookers. Some of the birds living in Qatar are so beautiful. Different species of pigeons can be spotted every where. I used to see parrots and don’t know where they have now migrated to.






Ardeiadade



The fasting month of Ramadan is at the doorstep. In this holy month for government institutions and private companies reduce their working hours to facilitate fasting .Houses and furniture are specially cleaned to welcome this holy month. Some followers of other religions also fast together with their Muslim colleagues to show their solidarity. Iftar parties attended by followers of other creeds are occasions that pave the way for mutual understanding and joint cooperation. 

By the father

Science Fair or Fear

“Can you drop me back to my school" I asked my dad interrupting the siesta he was enjoying . It was on the first day of the Science Fair in our school. I had just returned home and had my lunch . The weather was very hot as usual in summer in Doha .My dad asked some questions and finally agreed. Now a days it is my younger brother who drives. But he was in fact fast asleep and none will dare to awake him. At around 3 P.M. I was in the Exhibition Hall.

In every school or institution it may happen once in an year. The students just cant wait until it arrives. Some start preparing even an year before .When they however reach the bridge, it may be too hard to cross.



winde electricity(house)



A teacher by profession , my only sister always gifts me with educational toys. Last time it was solar building kit ,so much to build, so much to work and so much to tryout The kit allowed me to build 6 different items. The solar car was obviously the best one, but would not work properly. So I made a solar dog, but it seemed to me that it was not enough. After all it was very small. And so the title of the project came to my mind. Instead of the title solar energy, I decided to make it ‘natural energy’ and thus included wind electricity into it.

solar robot dog



When you hear the title solar dog or solar robot , big things may come to your mind. But my solar dog does not bark or walk o run . All it does is turn it’s tail rapidly as long as the light stays in contact with the solar cell. But the tail acts as a propeller and at the same time causes vibrations which in turn makes the dog move in circular motion.

how it works

On the first day when the teachers in charge came in for checking whether what each student had brought was worthy of participation or not, the atmosphere was tense because the participants did not know what were the topics to be rejected rather than selected . Most of the items were unfortunately rejected and mine was luckily one of the selected topics. The morning was for the mounting and with most of my class mates gone; things started getting a little boring. When the morning session of the fair was over and we were to go home.

When I returned home after the morning session on the second day, I told my dad that I had to return to the school. He disagreed saying that since it was Thursday I had to attend evening religious lessons . Then I asked what I would say to my partner who would be waiting for me in the school and he agreed. This time it was my elder brother who took me to the school.

Even though the solar dog seemed to be an interesting topic, we had problems awaiting us. For starters, the solar dog despite defined as a means of ‘conservation of electricity’, needed a table lamp to act as an artificial sun which meant that I needed to mount my exhibit where there is an electric plug that was available only inside classrooms. So we mounted our exhibit inside a classroom while most of the others were in the corridor. It was now open to public but here came the big problem, we were pinned inside the class. And no one would bother come inside to view the exhibits. Everyone preferred just going on straight watching the exhibits next to them. The bright side was that we had a comfortable and pleasant time.

me and my friends

It was night time and the exhibition was finally over. There was a valedictory function but I only stayed for the main part, the rest was all dances and dramas. We were given transport back home but not the same bus. Certain buses take you to particular areas along with teachers. Walking to the bus might sound simple but it is not that simple in my school. The school is very large with 5 different sections. I needed to first find my bus. I asked the one in charge and got my bus number but not its location. On the way I found a friend who was younger but had the same interest I had-experimenting on electronics. We found the bus outside the campus but the driver told us that we could only board the buses after the function was over. Then it was off to the other end of the school. By the time we reached there the final folk dance was over. And as they were delivering the concluding speech we returned and the function was over before we got there. But the bus door was locked and the driver had not come, leaving us in the scorching heat. Some teachers had come and they were waiting for the door to open too. I got tired of waiting so I went to driver’s door and it was not locked so I climbed up the bus to the door that was located a little far from vehicle’s base. I got into the driver’s seat and pulled a lever which then opened the door. We got in and once everyone arrived the driver came and we were off to our homes. We had some fun with our exhibits. Even though we didn’t win any prizes, we were very close to it, it turned out that we were ranked as the 4th.

By the youngest son

The feathered family

Though  I  had tried hard to get a two room quarters when I was staying with my wife, I was allotted the apartment only after she went back to Kerala for birthgiving. I stayed alone in the apparently large room and my solitude made it look larger. I had kept an air-cooler by the side of the window. I didn’t make it operational as it was winter. One day I noticed a pigeon bringing sticks and dry leaf and preparing a nest in the gap between the window shield and the air cooler. This made me happy as I loved some sort of company in this monotony and it actually reminded me of  my wife preparing for her delivery. Within days the nest was ready and the pigeon had laid two eggs. I was initially reluctant to approach the nest as I feared that the bird would get frightened and abandon her eggs. One day I heard a commotion near the cooler. As I looked I saw the bird fighting with two squirrels who had come to snatch the eggs, seeing me the wild creatures retreated , but they had succeeded in breaking the eggs, I could not understand why this herbivorous squirrel wanted  those eggs. Had they changed into eggitarians or did they have some long forgotten revenge with the pigeon family. Anyway the seemingly cute and harmless creature had become a devilish wild beast for me. I felt sorry for the pigeons and joined them in their mourning.

After a week or so, I received news from my beloved that our baby’s life was abnormal and the gynecologist wanted to perform a version procedure to correct it. Knowing that it was a risky though  it was an essential  procedure, my mind was in turmoil. However, by God’s grace on the day of the procedure my wife called and gave me the good news that our baby had spontaneously changed to normal position. I thanked God and looked at my feathered friends, who were busy preparing for their offspring.

By the time I was leaving for home to be with my better half to join  her when our much expected child comes to this world, the pigeon had laid two eggs and were also expecting their little ones . I was worried about their safety  from the squirrels in my absence. But all I could do was to pray to God to protect them as he protected mine. When I returned, leaving my heart and apple of my eye back home, I was received by two beautiful chicks chirping under the wings of their mother. Their heads and bodies were naked  and  featherless. Even though their constant cries disturbed my scanty sleep, I loved their presence as it reminded  me of my  family. I would sometimes peep into its nest to see how much they had grown. I could even count their tiny feathers.

Time passed and the clumsy winter gave way for the scorching summer. I had promised my wife that I would come to take them once the winter faded. I looked at the chicks who then had  sound wings. It was just a matter of days before they would fly off into the endless horizon. I thought I could replace the nest as  so that the birds would build it somewhere else, as I wanted to operate my air cooler to escape from the heat. The sun had already started peeping  through my windows. After  a few  days when  I looked into the nest, I discovered that the mother had already laid its next egg although a singlet. Despite that  my first reflex was to throw away the nest of the irresponsible bird not heeding to proper family planning, the thoughts of my family prevented me from the vicious  act. After all, the  larger the family, the happier it is .

I brought my wife and four month old child to the city beautiful. The summer was furious like a frying pan at Chandigarh. The chick had by then  feathers, but was not yet ready to fly. Even though it was hot, I decided to give the chick a couple of days so that the chick could at least escape from predators. However I told my wife to ensure  that the mother bird does not lay anymore eggs. Each day we eagerly waved off the mother bird and waited for the chick to fly off. But the birds  cheated us once again  and  in spite of our valiant efforts it managed to lay its egg. But this time I had to do it. I moved the nest with the egg in it to another position. I know this would frighten off the birds, but I could not wait for another generation in this heat. It may be protecting its offspring, but so am I.

By the eldest son

The poor girl who loved a Prince

Do you believe that a veteran political leader in Kerala, has  no money to pay his hospital bills? It may sound strange and even incredible in Indian political arena notorious for corruption scandals, kickbacks and bribes . But it did happen, to this former Kerala Legislative Assembly speaker and MP when he was once hospitalized as reported by his friends including a journalist who assisted him to settle the bills. Ardently loved by the common man, he stands alone as a honest politician who refuses to be cowed down by temptations of power, politics or money and remains fighting for just social causes even if it amounts to opposing his own political party.

It occurred to me to search for a story in the printed and visual media just to see that honesty is honoured. While doing so I asked  myself whether I was crazy or if it was some sort of absurdities dictated by the aging I am now undergoing . Well, there are occasions in one’s life in when he fails to convince even the next of his kin. I have to confess that what I have found is the other way around; public servants being harassed by his superiors, policemen or officers being subjected to punishment transfers, employees fired, all on “charges” of being honest in their duties. Politicians accused of corruption and nepotism are sworn in as ministers and shady police officers reinstated after their suspension on valid grounds . A employee of a state owned company in Kerala had committed suicide along with his family members a few months ago due to constant intimidations from his superiors who were facing corruption charges .

I had , therefore, to go back to more than a couple of millenniums to dig out such a story. With sincere apologies to my esteemed readers, here it is:

Around 250 BC , a Prince in ancient China was preparing to be crowned as King. Pursuant to the laws and regulations prevailing there in those days that he had to marry to first. It was a matter of choosing the next Empress rather than his wife. Hence he had to select a girl whom he could trust blindly. Based on the opinion of his advisors, he decided to invite the girls of the area to select the most suitable from them.

When a poor old lady who had been working in the palace as Maid since several years came to know of it, she was sorry as she knew that her daughter had been concealing her love for the prince. She informed her daughter what was going on the in the palace but was surprised to note that her daughter also intended to participate in the contest.

"What are you going to do there among the richest and most beautiful girls" she asked her daughter.

" No mom, I will participate. I know that I will not be chosen but I will be pleased to be close to the Prince at least for a few moments. I know very well what my fate will be"

On the day of the contest , beautiful girls wearing elegant costumes and precious ornaments gathered in the palace. Surrounded by his courtiers , the Prince arrived and announced " I will give each of you a seed, who ever brings me the most beautiful flower after six months will be the next Empress."

The daughter of the old lady also took the seed, returned home and planted it in a flower pot . Though she was not proficient in farming, she took care of the soil with a lot patience and care as she believed that if the plant grew as much as her love for the prince, she did not need to worry about the result. Three months passed but the seed did not germinate. Though she tried various ways and employed different methods after consulting the farmers, her efforts were in vain. The days passed, her hopes dashed and her aspirations dissipated but her for love for the prince remained glowing.

Six months elapsed and nothing grew in her flower pot . Though she knew that she had nothing to present to the Prince she was fully aware of her sincere efforts .She told her mother that she would go to the palace on the date and time set for the selection . She knew that it was her last chance to see her lover and did not want loose it however hard it might be.

On the final selection date , she went to the palace with her flowerpot which had no plant or flower in it. She saw all the other girls carrying beautiful flowers and it was difficult to decide which one was more beautiful than the other. The prince entered and looked at the competing girls with much attention and care. After passing by all of them, she pointed to the daughter of his maid and announced that she would be the next empress. The other girls protested saying that the prince had chosen a girl who did not plant any thing. Then the prince told them " She is the only one who has planted the seed and is thus entitled to be the next empress because the seeds I had given all of you were sterile and can never germinate or grow".

It is while reading such stories that a common man like me feels relieved. When some TV channels exposes corruption though sting operations and the culprits are caught red-handed the common man rejoices . “ What will you gain from being honest ” some one may ask. Let us suppose that your boss asks you to telephone some one and you forgets to do so. He follows up and you tell him the truth of the matter .He may be angry at you and accuse you of being careless or even negligent . If you had instead lied to him saying that person’s telephone was busy, he would be happy and would only ask you to call him again. Here he is in fact appreciating the lie you have told him and reprimanding you for telling the truth. I know two shops in Doha adjacent to each other selling the same merchandise. One of these shop owners lies to his customers and sell counterfeited goods whereas the other one is honest in his dealings and sells only genuine articles . The outcome is that the former has amassed a lot of wealth where as the latter is still trying hard to make both ends meet.

I have seen elders in my village classifying those working in Gulf countries to evaluate who is successful and who is not. They judge people based on the money the person has amassed regardless of the ways and means they employed in this respect whether it is through smuggling or drug or human trafficking or some other illegal channels which has no effect on the reputation the person enjoys in the society. Those classified as “ the most successful” seem to command more respect than the persons who use legitimate methods to earn money but remain less wealthy or even impoverished. They comment about those financially unfortunate ones saying “they are wasting their time  and are in no way better than those who remain jobless”.

Does it mean that are the values such as truthfulness, selflessness, sacrifice, altruism disappearing slowly from the society ? When the world shrank into a small village and people around the globe came closer to one another we should have been more happy but we still feel that something is missing. Are we trampling mercilessly on human values and principles using the iron boot of globalization and liberalization?

By the father

When his corpse returns home

“You may forget those you have laughed with , but not those you have wept with” Gibran Khalil Gibran.

The other day a Pakistani colleague of mine, died of cardiac arrest. He had recently returned to Doha after spending his annual vacation with his family in Pakistan. His frozen body kept in the morgue is scheduled to be flown to his home country for burial after a few hours accompanied by his son who is working in Doha. I tried to imagine the feelings of his son in his twenties who is destined to take the refrigerated dead body of his father home and visualize the situation when his beloved mom "meets" with her dead husband.

The scholar who led his funeral prayer held a few hours ago in the court yard of the hospital reminded the participants that what has happened to the person they are praying for is going to happen to all of them whether it be after a few minutes or hours or months or years and asked them to get ready for that well equipped with righteous deeds. Another group of Keralites was seen there preparing for the funeral prayer of a young Keralite Muslim who died of the same cause.

Last year a relative of my son in law living in Doha found her husband lying unconscious in their living room early in the morning. When his friends took him to the hospital he was found dead .They, however, kept the matter confidential for obvious reasons and told his wife that he was just admitted to the Intensive Care Unit. When we visited her house after about twelve hours from the incident a number of people had gathered in her house. None of them had the courage to disclose the matter to her. Their kids were running here and there and playing while visitors were watching them being at a loss what to tell them. She was speaking to them as if no tragedy had occurred . Some of the visitors questioned the logic behind keeping her away the fact of the matter. But they were told that the intension was not to shock her as they wanted her to be aware of it gradually. By the time she was informed of the matter, she had already smelled a rat. It was on the day when his dead body was released from the hospital to be flown home . In lieu of returning home happily with her husband and two toddlers, she had to accompany the dead body of her husband home and even console her mother in law who was still alive.

During the past three decades of my expatriate life in Doha, I had witnessed several such cases in Doha including deaths due to traffic accidents. Death is inevitable but when one breathes his last while he is thousands of miles away from his dear and near ones , it will be more painful . Being a social animal man desires for the presence of his family members even at the time of his death though he knows that the latter can only watch them dying and can do nothing beyond being passive spectators. I remember my beloved mom who used to tell me that she wanted to die when her children were at home and how I used to scold her for speaking about her death. When she passed away in 2000, I was there in the next room though I still feel sorry that I could not be beside her at the time of her sudden death even being at home.

By the father

Matters of the heart

Love me like a flower

With nectar in thy heart

Brightness as its luster

And fragrance that ‘ll never part

Love me like a moon

With ardour in thy sight

Promise me you ‘ll come soon

To shed in my your light

Love me like a child

With glittering glance and smile

With serenity so sweet and mild

Which will guide me many a mile

Love me like song

With mirth as its music

With lyrics lulling and long

Which will make my tears magic

Love me like a rainbow

With emotions blent in thy glow

Come and pacify my sorrow

And silence my soul’s woe

If ever love be true

And if ever it can sooth

Then with ours, we’ll prove

That love is nothing but truth

By the daughter

Wave

Wave the divine creation of God

Immense treasure you hold

Patience , forbearance I do envy

Yours those invincible army

Your beat the shores

And the rocks in its pores

You caress the sand

And you kiss the land

You promise the moon

That you will hug her soon

You sing for the shores

Ripples, pebbles your chorus

You are the crown of the earth

In you countless species take birth

Always joyfully to and fro

Surmounting obstacles you do flow

From you I learned to toil

To fight back life’s turmoil

To target always at the zenith

To embrace life with all its glitz.

To endure the taunting time

To soothe my heart which is lame

To heal the wound I bear

Saltish water for saltish tear

Yours chasm paves the way

For the wind to pass in gay

You shelter the herbs and weeds

And grant them their needs.

Effacing memory, amazing notion

How I love to seek your horizon

When you join hands with the sky

How splendid the moment I espy

Oh God it is my prayer to thee

Never allay this mighty wave

Warning troubles and teaching lessons

Let it last for the coming generations.

By the daughter

Married Bachelors

Just as it is said that pure water is the cheapest tonic one can afford , sleep is described as the cheapest pleasure a man can enjoy. Sleeping is sweeter during the winter season in Doha as it is the case else where in the world. How pleasing it is to go on sleeping and sleeping in chilly weather covered or rather wrapped in blankets. In every story there is a villain and in this case it is the clock when the alarm sounds on time and interrupts the somnolence. School students including kindergarteners here have to wake up as early as 4.30 am when it is still dark since the schools buses that start picking them up from 5 am onwards. Just imagine how difficult it is for those students, let alone kindergarteners , to wake up so early in winter season. How many times their moms have to push and drag them until they open their eyes and some of them resort to water treatment by spilling water on their kids’ faces . When they ultimately wake up ,  their moms  prepare them to board the buses after ensuring that that their school bags are fully equipped . Though we are living in an age of tablets, technology is yet to assist Indian school students here who continue to carry heavy loads while going to their schools. Since their dads will be fast asleep, their moms will have also to ensure their children do not miss the bus as they know those bus drivers are very punctual in terms of their unwillingness to wait even for a minute for a student coming down from the top floor of the building whereas the students have no room to complain if the bus is late or it does not come at all .Though students have been taught the saying “early to bed and early to rise , makes the man healthy wealthy and wise” they go to bed these days very late because most of them are addicted to their computers . A writer in the International Herald Tribune called the youths of today as “cut and paste generation” in the sense that the use of their brain has dwindled a lot.

Once my wife left me stranded in Doha , when she travelled to our village in Kerala to arrange for her eldest son’s engagement ceremony . I thought it was a golden opportunity for me to demonstrate that I could do without her and thought that I could even coin a new phrase “house husband” to replace the pretty old and worn out word “housewife” by playing the role of both a husband and a wife, a two in one formula in this age of multi-purpose devices . But the trouble started on the next day of her departure itself when the large fish curry bowl she had prepared and kept in the fridge on the day of her departure fell down while I was taking it out and the spicy and oily curry began to flow to different parts of the kitchen even under the fridge and kitchen racks. I was at a loss , stood motionless as usual for a while pondering over what to do and then my son came to my rescue. Both of us had to work hard to clean the kitchen and remove the stains on the white marble floor. What relieved me a little was that the smell coming from the kitchen for one of two days was so appetizing as it was that of my favourite fish curry composed of spices and green mango slices .

One day I was surprised when my school going son who was waiting for the bus came back panting . The thing was that I had forgotten that it was a Thursday when the students had to wear white uniforms in lieu of the normal uniforms he had worn. By the time he changed his uniform , the bus had gone. On another occasion I thought I would cook some thing for my children in stead of depending on the restaurants to feed them. .But after tasting the dish I prepared they begged me to have mercy on them and not punish them that way since there were still several other civilized methods to do so.

The lion share of Asian expatriates living in Gulf countries are “ married bachelors” which means that even if they are married they have bachelor status as far as their employment contract is concerned and can not afford to bring their families to live with them . They find solace in talking to their families using internet telephone calls which are cheap these days . Most of them are granted annual vacation once in two years and are able to spend less than three months with their family.

Keralites are so sensitive that the news of a slight ill health of one of their family members including parents and siblings at home are enough to disrupt their peace of mind and create tension for them. Hospital sources in Doha reveal that many of those dying of heart failure are Keralites . After spending 30 or 40 years as expatriates in Gulf Countries , when an average Asian expatriate returns home, his earnings will be next to nothing and a large number of them suffer from diabetes, hypertension or heart problems. It seems that gulf life is an octopus, once it catches you it is very difficult to escape from its clutches however hard you may try. The life an Asian expatriate here conceives a multitude of problems unrealized even by their kith and kin. In the past parents were on the lookout for grooms working in the Gulf for their daughters . The trend has now reversed when they realized the truth.

Some times it so happens that one does not wake up from his sleep at all . Such a phenomenon is not so uncommon among the expatriates living in Gulf countries due to the mental stress they undergo while trying to make both ends meet coupled with their feeling of alienation from their homeland and their separation from their families. “It is the name God that I live and die ” and “ Praise be to God who gave me back my life after taking it from me” , these are the prayers Muslims utter when they go to bed and wake up from their sleep respectively.

By the Father

.

Beauty

I delved deep into the core

Of heart of a wild flower

Deep behind the curtain was its beauty

Mingled sweetness that quenched the thirst of many

The cool breeze blew over the fields

Dispelled the sorrows that surfeited my mind

And in its train it brought for me

Mirth, merriment, music and melody

Shimmer glimmer the dawn arrived

Gurgling streams and chirping sparrows

It showed me the rose under the April snow

And its fragrance enlivened the life below

The sun shed its richer gold

As if revealing a story untold

It opened its heart for the world to glance

The beauty that lay deep in its glow

The rainbow that arched the heaven above

Told me that spring was below

Smiling flowers, running gazelles

Beauty dazzled in enthralling spleandour

The moon with its treasure of silver

Presented me with its blanket of stars

The warmness it brought embraced me

And rocked me into a deep and dreamless trance

The loving touch of a mother

The caring hands of a father

The innocent smile of a baby

Yes they are the living signs of beauty

The days that rippled away

Revealed to me, a truth concealed

Beauty indeed is a treasure

That’s beyond one’s fathom

Beauty lies deep and dissolved

In every minute of creation of God

Neither can it been seen nor touched

It can only be felt by the tender heart

By the daughter

Convert sand particles into pearls

Doha

15th October, 1995.

My dearest daughter,

Until recently sleeping and snoring used to be my favourite hobby. You may be familiar with the music and melody of my snoring though I am yet to quantify the damage it might have done to the eardrum of your beloved mom. Now a days I am attempting to get rid of the lethargy in me and trying to be a little bit active though I don’t know how far I will succeed. My mind tells me that easiest physical exercise consists in a morning walk whereby I can enjoy the fresh air and inhale the refreshing morning breeze as well . But before starting my stroll I have to encounter my lethargy which dissuades me from doing so and put forth several reasons why I should postpone it as if it is tantamount to climbing mount Everest . When I ultimately triumph over my sluggishness, I go for jogging wearing my red track suite which is not less than eight years old. I do not want to discard it since I believe that old is gold. While walking though the pavements of the road beside my residence , some cars on the road can be seen rushing like jumbo jets that seems to break sound barrier. I know that most of them are employees of the military or police department who have to report for duty not later than 6 A.M or else they will have to face the court martial trial . Some drivers who may know me sound their horns to let me know that they have caught me red-handed though very often I fail to recognize who they are . They believe that I am sportsman; poor fellows ! God forgive them.

After returning to my room I play audio cassettes and relish in listening to some sweet Hindi songs which refresh my mind and prepare me to welcome a new born day . Some times I feel like dancing to the tune of the music; I am lucky that I have no room mate to watch such stupidities .In my office my colleagues belong to different Nationalities like Indians, Egyptians, Sudanese and Palestinians who are so loving and friendly. They especially are fond of cracking jokes. Even when I am busy with my office work, they will start asking “ why you are silent today, come on, say something, we can no longer tolerate such a dead silence, hell with your work ”. Arabs usually do not call those who are close to them by their names. If one’s eldest son’s name is X , they prefer to call him as Aboo X ( father of X) to show their affinity to you. My colleagues therefore call me Aboo Abdul Wadood , the underlined words being the name of my eldest son who shares this blog. To sustain the memory of their fathers, Arabs are also in the habit of naming their first born male child after their fathers. Some of them call me Aboo Saeed though they know that I have not named my eldest son after my father despite that my dad had done so and that is why I got my paternal grandpa’s name . Out of extreme respect for his father, seldom did my dad call me by my name; he called me instead using some Malayalam words meaning my dear son . I like to be concealed under the name of my dad who had left no stone unturned to bring me up as a good human being and that is why I do not correct those who call me by my father’s name. I like to sustain his name at least in such a way since I am not sure whether I have been fully faithful to him.

Once in a week my colleagues and myself go to fish market to buy the fish required for one week . I describe the trip as “ high level trade delegation visiting fish market for trade negotiations ”. Two Kilos of fish are enough for me for one week. My colleague Ganeshan buys one Kilo though there are four persons in his room. It will not be enough for them even for a day’s consumption . Though I know that they do not eat fish as I do ,when others ask him why he does not buy more, I intervene just to tease him and say “ every day, they open their fridge and smell the fish and on the seventh day , they finish it off”. Ganeshan replies laughing “ Sir you are killing me, I will stop buying fish for good and all”.

The other day my Arab colleagues had a tough argument and verbal encounter over some issues concerning them . The History of Middle East reveals the story of a governor of Iraq named Hajjaj bin Yusuf who lived thousand years ago . He is notorious for his cruelty and bloody campaigns . The history records how he quelled an uprising in one of the cities of the then Iraq by a fiery speech he delivered from the pulpit of the town mosque and thereby silenced the rebels and forced them to bury the hatchet. Seeing my colleagues arguing for nothing, I quoted from the speech of the afore-cited governor and said “ Gentlemen, I see in front of me heads that are like ripe fruits ready to be plucked . It is time to pluck them, I am the one to do it”. My Arab colleagues who already knows the story laughed aloud and forgot what they were arguing about.

I remember having read a write up captioned “ Convert sand particles into pearls”. It may sound strange. You know that pearls are found inside the shells of oysters . Sometimes sand particles enter into the shells of these oysters. It pricks the flesh found inside their shells and inflicts pain on them. Still they do not reject or spit the sand particles out. They keep them enduring the slight pain caused by sand particles. Ultimately due to the constant friction , the sand particles gradually turn soft and ultimately pearls are born. What the author pinpoints is that if we the human beings are ready to endure such slight difficulties or hardships just as oysters do , we may be ultimately rewarded with pleasant results and that our patience may produce miracles.

That is all for the time being.



With love and prayers,



Your loving dad

The outcasts

The hilly road just diverged into the midst of concerte compound walls. It is quite amazing to believe that more than 60 elderly people are housed behind this wall in the so called old age home at Thavannur near Kuttippuram, Kerala. It has been their home ever since they set their foot on this soil. And of course they love it here, they say. After all they had to undergo what felt like hell in their life and for them now it is heaven on earth. And they look forward to spending their rest of the days here.

Unfortunately most of the people we met were either driven away from their own homes or left their home on their own account because they never felt it to be a ‘home’ anymore . When asked about their journey to the old age home, they have tales to tell. Their struggle in reaching here was the most difficult part and definitely it seems to be so rewarding now. In here most of them are happy to be alive and to be in a place to call it as their own. They say now we have a roof over head ,meals four times of a day, a cot to sleep on, and weekly health check ups and definitely it is free of charge. And if at all they need something else, they were provided with it at the earliest. But whatever the people who take care of them do, I bet they are so damn under strain and sorrowful because they are in some strange land away from the places they had spent a major part of their life.

‘Everyone will have to pass through this age, whether they like it or not. An elderly man who could barely walk with a stick said this. But he is healthier when compared to some others around him. There were people who have lost their rights over their legs and struggles to move from one room to another. And they have to depend on either a stand or stick to support their weight.

When one of us asked whether their children used to come for visiting them, they say ‘Yes, they do come. But they don’t come here for us. All they want is my hard earned money and my pension. That is why they come here. It seems that her children were so brutal that they used to torture her so much to the extent that now she has some trouble with her backbone and cannot walk properly. What is even more amazing is that this place has got people who have raised 5-7 children but none of them show the slightest concern for their parent who is abandoned somewhere in some land in someone else’s care. Do these people have any idea how their children will treat them when their time has come? what makes them so confident that their children wouldn’t treat them the way they are treating their own parents now?

When they speak about their children it reminds me of a story someone told me long before. It is about an old man and his son, when both of them were sitting in their porch, the old man asked what was that noise they were hearing so closely. The son replied it was the sparrows, and after sometime the old man asked again and again, and the third time the son lost his patience and shouted at his father. Hearing this the old man went inside and came back carrying an old diary and gave it to the son. The son opened it to find out that about 30 years ago when he was 3 years of old, sitting in the same porch he had asked them the same question about 23 times and each time the father replied patiently it was the sparrows. Such is the story of an old dad and his son.

But they say they feel happy when visited by children or strangers… be it a passer-by who stops on his way when seeing the ‘old age home’ sign hung up near the gate or students who come for study purposes or curriculum based projects…they are just happier when they know some one out there want to visit them and they are especially happier when they see programmes are conducted for them in their vicinity by children from neighbouring schools. But whatever they do, their heart will never be filled to the brim of happiness…after all they are torn away from their real world and real life, and their real identity is no longer an issue because they just make one among the many old people around there, and they are left with no choice to make on how to end the last days of their long life journey , so weak and so miserable that they just have to live by crossing the dates on the calendar…

By the niece