A taste of my own medicine

“A taste of my own medicine” is an autobiography written by Edward E. Rosenbaum, which beautifully depicts the change in the life of a physician after he is diagnosed with  throat cancer . The visual version of the book is the movie, “The Doctor” starring William Hurt. The life of the young and vibrant doctor, who has a happy family and career, is turned upside down once he faces the reality that life has put brakes on him. He passes through all the phases of the ailment  like denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance. But his most important and crucial realization  that  changed his entire attitude towards life was how to feel for others. Here he was no longer  a doctor, but a patient like any one  of his patients who  approached  him. He realizes the stigma of being labelled as a patient by the society, system and even by  his family. This was a part  that he never thought of when his patients  came to consult him

The title of the book really fascinated me and made me ponder for at least a while. But lately when I was helping my wife give my child a tonic, it made me think more. It was with great difficulty we were  trying to give syrup to my child who was struggling to sip it. After our successful attempt , I licked the medicine which spilled on to my fingers. The repulsive taste made me almost vomit. It was similar  tastes which prevented me from taking such medicines  during my childhood. I wondered why medicines are not   prepared  in flavors. What however  really made me uneasy was that  I have prescribed the same medicine to several  children.

The lion share  of  inter-personal difficulties in our society are due this lack of mutual understanding. When two people  are in dispute, none  of them bothers to  consider  the other's version of the problem. Interestingly the best way to solve any argument or even to  prevent from igniting  it,  is to think about the other party's  perspective. “To stand in the other person’s shoes”, is another phrase used, but this carries less strength compared to the title of the book. The former is to imagine and latter is to virtually be in that position.

 The other day a middle-aged  person came to my out- patient department during the late hours. He appeared to be  a villager. He did not have an OPD card as he came late and the counter had closed. He told me he had some ear discharge for many years and asked if I could have a look. I told him, as I used to tell patients, that the OPD hours are over and as it was not an emergency case  he had to  come the next day  in time with a proper registration. The man  insisted on seeing him as he had travelled long distance to reach here. I told him that  the rules were very strict and seeing any person without registration  is tantamount  to private practice which was not allowed and carried legal implications. I did not heed to the pleadings of the person as, I was in a hurry as I had to attend the academic clinics. Late evening that day I was shopping at the small complex near  our hospital. As it was close   to our institute the lawn and premises were resting places for many patients, their care takers and relatives who come from far off places. They would just spread their cloths on the grass or the cement veranda of closed shops and spend their night there . All on a sudden , I remembered the patient who came to see  me. The thought that he could be sleeping there  the night just because I had  refused to entertain him disturbed me. Whatever legal implications, I should  have had a look and prescribed  medicines on a piece of paper and the person could have gone home to his family. Who could have come to know? The patient might  not have exposed the issue nor would I . My lame excuses soon  began to haunt me. What, if the person had returned as he could not leave his family alone? Then I had deprived the person of medical care. I tried to rationalize the matter  thinking that if it had been   a serious disease, hewould have come on time. Why should I bother about the disease of a person who himself is careless about it. But the more I thought about the issue, the more I got disturbed. How can a villager know the seriousness of his disease? Moreover, how can you expect him to care when he may have  a family to feed and he has to make   both ends meet. Once again  I  tried to console myself telling myself  that I had  done the right thing by adhering to the rules of the institute and the person would  thereby understand the value of time. But this was the last rational argument my conscious soul could make. When I visualized  myself in his place, the whole scenario changed. If it were myself who travelled long distance to see the doctor but  was  turned back and asked to come back next day just because I had reached late  I would have been really upset. In fact I had a similar experience when I went to the passport office when I was terribly depressed. If only I had this thought when I met the person, I could have helped him and provided myself with peace of mind.

When I see old people coming to the OPD and waiting for long period, I try to imagine the possibilities of their life. They could be people who were abandoned by their children and left to live their remaining lives in solitude. They could be people whom God has not blessed with children. They might have come from far-away lands, frightened and perplexed seeing the large hospital and crowds. Even though their constant entry into my room while I see other patients disturbs me, I beagn  to understand their fear of getting lost among the sea of patients. I imagined that if my mother would had been  in such a situation, she would have been iunder  tension and despair. When some people keep on asking unnecessary questions and queries which irritate me, I try to imagine if it were my own father asking and that resolves the situation. When small children cry and run away while I examine them, I try to imagine myself taking my child to a doctor and all my irritation vanishes.

This is not pertaining to any particular profession or situation. Anybody any where can try this very simple practice when they are in such situations. This would reduce much of your anxiety and despair. Once you begin thinking and acting like this all our remorse and arrogance will melt down and we will start having peace and harmony of mind.

The Eldest son