Married Bachelors

Just as it is said that pure water is the cheapest tonic one can afford , sleep is described as the cheapest pleasure a man can enjoy. Sleeping is sweeter during the winter season in Doha as it is the case else where in the world. How pleasing it is to go on sleeping and sleeping in chilly weather covered or rather wrapped in blankets. In every story there is a villain and in this case it is the clock when the alarm sounds on time and interrupts the somnolence. School students including kindergarteners here have to wake up as early as 4.30 am when it is still dark since the schools buses that start picking them up from 5 am onwards. Just imagine how difficult it is for those students, let alone kindergarteners , to wake up so early in winter season. How many times their moms have to push and drag them until they open their eyes and some of them resort to water treatment by spilling water on their kids’ faces . When they ultimately wake up ,  their moms  prepare them to board the buses after ensuring that that their school bags are fully equipped . Though we are living in an age of tablets, technology is yet to assist Indian school students here who continue to carry heavy loads while going to their schools. Since their dads will be fast asleep, their moms will have also to ensure their children do not miss the bus as they know those bus drivers are very punctual in terms of their unwillingness to wait even for a minute for a student coming down from the top floor of the building whereas the students have no room to complain if the bus is late or it does not come at all .Though students have been taught the saying “early to bed and early to rise , makes the man healthy wealthy and wise” they go to bed these days very late because most of them are addicted to their computers . A writer in the International Herald Tribune called the youths of today as “cut and paste generation” in the sense that the use of their brain has dwindled a lot.

Once my wife left me stranded in Doha , when she travelled to our village in Kerala to arrange for her eldest son’s engagement ceremony . I thought it was a golden opportunity for me to demonstrate that I could do without her and thought that I could even coin a new phrase “house husband” to replace the pretty old and worn out word “housewife” by playing the role of both a husband and a wife, a two in one formula in this age of multi-purpose devices . But the trouble started on the next day of her departure itself when the large fish curry bowl she had prepared and kept in the fridge on the day of her departure fell down while I was taking it out and the spicy and oily curry began to flow to different parts of the kitchen even under the fridge and kitchen racks. I was at a loss , stood motionless as usual for a while pondering over what to do and then my son came to my rescue. Both of us had to work hard to clean the kitchen and remove the stains on the white marble floor. What relieved me a little was that the smell coming from the kitchen for one of two days was so appetizing as it was that of my favourite fish curry composed of spices and green mango slices .

One day I was surprised when my school going son who was waiting for the bus came back panting . The thing was that I had forgotten that it was a Thursday when the students had to wear white uniforms in lieu of the normal uniforms he had worn. By the time he changed his uniform , the bus had gone. On another occasion I thought I would cook some thing for my children in stead of depending on the restaurants to feed them. .But after tasting the dish I prepared they begged me to have mercy on them and not punish them that way since there were still several other civilized methods to do so.

The lion share of Asian expatriates living in Gulf countries are “ married bachelors” which means that even if they are married they have bachelor status as far as their employment contract is concerned and can not afford to bring their families to live with them . They find solace in talking to their families using internet telephone calls which are cheap these days . Most of them are granted annual vacation once in two years and are able to spend less than three months with their family.

Keralites are so sensitive that the news of a slight ill health of one of their family members including parents and siblings at home are enough to disrupt their peace of mind and create tension for them. Hospital sources in Doha reveal that many of those dying of heart failure are Keralites . After spending 30 or 40 years as expatriates in Gulf Countries , when an average Asian expatriate returns home, his earnings will be next to nothing and a large number of them suffer from diabetes, hypertension or heart problems. It seems that gulf life is an octopus, once it catches you it is very difficult to escape from its clutches however hard you may try. The life an Asian expatriate here conceives a multitude of problems unrealized even by their kith and kin. In the past parents were on the lookout for grooms working in the Gulf for their daughters . The trend has now reversed when they realized the truth.

Some times it so happens that one does not wake up from his sleep at all . Such a phenomenon is not so uncommon among the expatriates living in Gulf countries due to the mental stress they undergo while trying to make both ends meet coupled with their feeling of alienation from their homeland and their separation from their families. “It is the name God that I live and die ” and “ Praise be to God who gave me back my life after taking it from me” , these are the prayers Muslims utter when they go to bed and wake up from their sleep respectively.

By the Father

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