“ I am dancing, spinning around, happy in the last rhythms of the life I love. When the music stops, when I can’t tie my bow tie, tell a funny story , walk my dog, talk with Whitney(my daughter), kiss some one special or tap out lines like this , I ‘ill know that Life is over . It’s to be gone”.
This how Mr. Dudley Clendinen concludes his soul-stirring article in the International Herald Tribune dated 12th July, 2011. Former national correspondent and editorial writer for The New York Times and author of “ A place called Canterbury”, he is dying of the degenerative disease, Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis or A.L.S known as Lou Gehrig’s disease. Even if he uses all the available medical technology , it will leave him in a few years “ a conscious but motionless ,mute, withered, incontinent mummy of his former self, maintained by feeding and waste tubes, breathing and suctioning machines” In lieu of that and having been treated for the last 22 years , he has now decided to welcome death as one of life’s “ greatest, most absorbing thrills and challenges”.
Despite the advances in medical research deadly diseases like cancer, stroke or Alzheimer’s disease continue of claim thousands of lives .I personally knew a multi-millionaire in our village who died of cancer more than a decade ago. When I visited him during the last days of his life when his doctors had told him that his days were numbered, he was chatting with his friends and relatives in his living room as and no sign of sorrow was seen on his face whereas the people around him looked very gloomy.
Mr. Clendinen describes how he has adapted himself to the disease:
“ I sometimes call it Lou, in his honour and because the familiar feels less threatening. But it is not a kind disease. The nerves and muscles pulse and twitch and progressively , they die. From outside , it looks like the ripple of piano keys in the muscles under my skin. From inside it is like anxious butterflies trying to get out. It starts in the hands and feet and works its way up and in or it begins in the muscles of the mouth and throat and chest and abdomen and works its way down and out …. We don’t live as long because it affects our ability to breath early on, and just gets worse”
His mastery of English language, wisdom, and philosophical outlook are explicit throughout his article, that too when he is suffering ..
He adds: “I am having a wonderful time. I have a bright beautiful talented daughter , who lives close by, the gift of my life …..I don’t know if she approves ( my decision) .But she understands . Leaving her is one thing I hate. But all I can do is to give her a daddy who was vital to the end and knew when to leave”
Keralites know how the celebrated Malayalm film artist Oduvil Unnikrishnan, in spite of being afflicted with renal failure or so, continued to act until his death. People saw in the last couple of movies he had appeared how the disease had transformed his physical features and how difficult it was for him even to speak.
When one watches a moving movie, reads a splendid essay, meets a humble person, deals with an honest character, or sees a human being or animal suffering, he will feel like sharing these experiences with some one dear or near to him . Only then can he feel relaxed and heave a sigh of satisfaction and relief
By the father
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