The Newcomer

"Between the earth and sky above, nothing can match a grandmother's love."  Author anonymous.



My only daughter gave birth to her first child, a boy who is now 7 years old and is an inexhaustible source happiness for all of us especially for my wife. She  had the opportunity to look after him when he was a baby and his mom had to leave him with her to go to work. Ever since he began to speak , he calls her as mom and not grandma. One can very easily watch the emotional attachment between them and understand how much his grandma loves being called as mom.

Our grandson is so tender hearted that when we return to Doha after our vacation he finds it difficult even to take his meals saying that he feels sorry as memories of his grandma sadden him . Once when he visited Doha with his mom, he took with him a Hindi song CD. But after returning to India, when the CD was played to let him listen to his favourite songs, he said that he did not want to listen to it as it reminded him of his grandpa and that he felt sorry for being away from him in spite of the fact that his grandpa unfortunately belong to that category of people who take things for granted, fail terribly in expressing their feelings and find it hard even to smile at others. Our grandson is an exact replica of his father in every respect and mingles very easily with others .

When our grand son, Insaf, was born, I was one of the persons present in the hospital . One cannot forget those tense moments while waiting outside the labour room, every one waiting eagerly to welcome the newcomer to our family and running to the door when ever it was open assuming that the nurse was looking for them and I recall how we were relieved when the nurse informed us that our daughter had given birth to a baby boy. When my wife delivered her youngest son in Doha the whole process was entirely different. I literally handed over her to the hospital where none except a female ayah is allowed to stay with her and went home . I don’t know if I had slept that night but can recall that at midnight I received a telephone call from a nurse known to us that the my wife had delivered a boy and that I could visit her next day only. She remained in the hospital for one day and was discharged and we had to settle no bills as medical care is free of charge in Doha.

In early seventies when my sister  complained of labour pain at our home, I was asked to bring the midwife living in the nearby village. I recall how I accompanied by our neighbour Karapputty’s mother went on foot to the midwife’s house . We had to walk for about half an hour to reach her house at midnight . But to our pleasant surprise when we reached home together with the midwife  we found that my sister had delivered a baby girl and both the mother and her child were safe.

The other day when my eldest son informed us he was also joining the rank of fathers, I took it for granted as usual. A few days ago when my sister asked me whether there were " good news" from our son who had married in December, 2010, I wondered why people chase the newly wedded couple soon after their marriage and start posing questions if there is "good news" or not . Did they forget that time has changed and marital happiness is now days measured by postponing childbearing?

What ensued after the flash news released by our son was a jubilant atmosphere in which every one rejoiced and me remaining silent expressing no feelings .Discussions between his mother and sister soon started on what to name the child when would be the delivery and who has to be with my daughter in law during the month of her delivery. It seemed that every one was waiting for the news.

Latest reports from Chandigarh where my son and his better half live indicate that my daughter in law is suffering from  morning sickness. But when we saw her  on the Skype we realised that  he condtion  was  not as worse as  we had thought and that she was  far better than her mother in law  when she began to carry her first child in 1978. She was bedridden  without drinking or eating any thing nor was she speaking to any one. I had to hire a taxi and take her to her mother  whose face  turned pale   when she saw us as if she had expected something unpleasant  as it was a surprise visit. When I explained the symptoms she was relieved.

My wife has begun to follow her daughter in law very closely asking her son to abandon his callousness, to take special care of his wife, ensure that his wife was eating well though it was long distance and remote control care. She is very lucky like every one else these days since she can video-chat with his son and daughter in law live through Skype whereas in 1979 when she was hospitalized for her first delivery in India and I was in Doha , I had to wait for hours after booking a trunk call just to talk to some one and enquire about her and even after getting connection through the assistance of a friend of mine working in the telephone department in Doha it was disconnected before completing what I wanted to say. In those days the main means of communication was letters which took more than a week to travel from India to Doha and sometimes it never arrived due to some mistakes of postal workers in India or Doha. I remember the tension while opening the post box and the disappointment while not receiving any letters from my kith and kin. Those were days when every one travelling from the gulf to India and vice-versa had to carry a large number of letters and deliver them to the addresses after reaching their destinations. Those letters provided the readers with an ineffable pleasure and one enjoyed reading them time and again. Now a days when we chat we feel that we are missing something and we don’t feel the fervour and zeal we had while reading letters in the past. Today’s pleasures are instant and bubble like and not perennial as it used to be in the past.

By The Father